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flannelbuttphenomenon:

life hack: get a tattoo. if the people at the job interview notice it and look concerned, laugh a little and explain “it’s just temporary.”  months later if your boss asks why you lied and said it was a temporary tattoo, stare off into the distance and whisper with a tremulous voice the poor excuse for truth your subconscious has been fighting for its entire insignificant existence: “everything is temporary.”

(via denny-is-actually-stitch)





weavemunchers:

my worst fear is laughing at a joke I don’t understand and having someone ask me to explain it

(via denny-is-actually-stitch)